The woman with no name

Well, it's only been three days since my last post. Usually I don't update this close together, but something happened today that really needs to be blogged about!

Today was productive. I love productive days. I had two classes this morning, which I was not exactly looking forward to because they're the classes I usually don't enjoy teaching. Well, they turned out to be really well behaved and more interested in the lesson than I'd expected, so it turned out very well. It was my last day seeing those classes, and to my surprise, the teacher even remembered and reminded them! So I got some thank yous and goodbyes. Yesterday, I didn't even tell my classes it was the last time they'd see me. I don't know what I'd have said, and I also hate confronting the fact that I'm leaving. So I pretend everything's normal. That's not really like me, but this is one thing I'm going to really be sad to be done with.

It turns out my afternoon classes were cancelled (big surprise!) because the teacher was taking them to some sort of presentation. Okay, fine with me. The part I didn't like though is that I think (and it's hard for me to keep track) one of those classes was my favorite class. There are a bunch of boys who are really good sports and have fun learning what I teach them, and I really get a kick out of them. But oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. (In case you didn't get it, that was supposed to be my last class with them.)

So with my free time, I ran some errands. First on my list was stopping at the train station to pick up some tickets. Well, while there, I somehow got talking to this woman. She was probably in her 60s and was missing her front teeth, which was really distracting. At first she was just telling me how great it is that I speak French so well (I'm not boasting. But it's what she said.) because she says most foreigners don't speak it very well. I thanked her and told her it's not always the case, and that I have difficulty talking to people over the phone and watching movies and the like. So that got us on this whole kick about languages. This lead to her talking about how much easier it is to talk to people in person because so much of understanding language has to do with reading facial expressions and hand gestures and watching the person's mouth. She told me about one time when she was in Spain, she had a one-hour conversation with this Spanish woman, except she didn't speak Spanish and the other woman didn't speak French. She just told me how awesome/amazing it was that they were able to understand each other, mostly with body language. So it was only appropriate that I tell her about my experience in Basel this past weekend, having a 20-ish minute conversation in German.

This woman was really intelligent, especially considering my first impression of her, which was mainly based on appearance. The missing teeth didn't help her case, but she proved me wrong.

I managed to slip out of the conversation and up to the counter to get my tickets. As I was saying goodbye to this woman, she started walking out with me. She apparently had missed her train earlier from Montbéliard, so she basically had like two hours to kill waiting for the next train. I can't even begin to tell you everything we talked about. It was mostly language-related. This woman blew me away with how interesting she was to talk to. She was just stating her opinions on things I already knew about. But it was like, things that are "general knowledge" to me and other people who study languages, and I was happy to listen to her enthusiasm and interest regarding what I could share with her that I know about languages. For example, I told her about how in English we have his and her, and which one you use depends on the gender of the owner, whereas in French, it depends on the gender of the noun. She was so intrigued at that, and at the fact that English nouns and adjectives don't have genders (or numbers, for adjectives). Then she pointed out the three genders in German and laughed. And she was especially interested in the fact that in English, I listen, I am listening, and I do listen are all the same in French: J'écoute. She was convinced that English is easier to learn because it's more precise and that French is the most difficult language there is.

So we started out talking about language, and the conversation evolved from languages themselves to the critical period hypothesis to feral children to handicapped children to living a happy life to people dying and what happens after death. Yeah. I'm serious. We talked about death. It was really deep and interesting. She told me she often wonders about old friends of hers whom she hasn't seen in a long time and how she always wonders what ever happened to them and if they're still alive and everything. And then she told me about someone else she met once who told her she shouldn't worry about those things because that's just life. In life, you meet people and you move on. You're not intended to stay in contact with everyone you meet. It's okay if you never talk to those people from your past again, or people you meet on the street. This was just cool to hear, something to really think about. And she insisted that we must live day by day and not think too much about our futures because otherwise we'll start to worry too much, which makes the present unenjoyable.

I gave her my opinion and said that I think even if you never go back and talk to people from your past, it's okay not to know what ever happened to them because one day, you'll find out. (aka after you die) And one day you'll see them again. She kept asking me about this, and I just insisted that she'll find out what happened to her old friends. And she liked that. She agreed and just kept repeating it. And she mentioned that, although she agrees, how do we really know that? (We don't!) And if the fact is that we'll never find out, then I guess that's the fact. But we'll find that out one day, too. ;) And we talked about having hope. Hope about what? Just hope. Even if we don't know we'll see people again some day, we can at least hope. And if that makes life now happy for us, then why not just hope?

As a side note, she also mentioned that it basically really sucks when people die. But we both agreed that that's just life, and you can't dwell on it. You can't avoid death, but you can try to prolong life. And death is part of life, no matter what. I really liked when she emphasized that everyone has or will have someone close to them die in their life. Everyone experiences death, both themselves and of people around them. Even if it's just a pet. Everyone can relate somehow to death.

After a really long time (I'm guessing over an hour), we finally said our goodbyes. I asked her her name, and she asked me if it's important to know her name. I was kind of taken aback, not expecting her to refuse to tell me. She didn't exactly refuse, but she insisted that we find things out (or things happen) when we're supposed to find them out. And if her name's not important right now, there's no reason to know it. And one day, if it ever becomes important, I'll find out her name. I smiled. I think she's right. (Wait a minute. This is starting to sound like the whole "everything happens for a reason" thing, which I'm not a fan of to begin with.) So I told her so, and told her not to tell me her name. I'll find out when I find out. I don't need to know her name. It's irrelavent right now. I assured her that one day, after I die, I'll find out her name. She liked that, too. Does it really make a difference if I find out now or then?

Three times we said goodbye to each other and then somehow managed to pick up the conversation again. But after this name thing, we were really done. I said all my different versions of goodbye, and because of what we'd talked about, I even said,  "Adieu." We both got a kick out of the fact (or opinion... whatever) that some day we'd see each other again. I walked away so happy. I felt like this woman was sent to me from God or something to teach me some kind of life lesson. What that lesson is, I don't know. That sounds ridiculous. I'm not typically one to think that way, but I really felt like she appeared in my day for some kind of reason. It was just a cool experience and left me with a lot to think about. And now maybe I've just left you with something to ponder, yourself.

:-)