Happy Birthday, USA!

I remember one year ago. It was July 4, 2010, and I worked until close at Target. I drove home from work in the dark, just like most other July 4ths. (I don't remember the last time I had a 4th off and celebrated with friends or family.) I watched fireworks from my car on the drive home. And I thought to myself how grand it was to be watching this one last oh-so-American thing before heading for France. I remember being sad. Sad that I'd be leaving this fabulous place I call home. I knew that in a few short months I would be surrounded by everything unfamiliar and foreign, and nothing I call home (except that France does kind of feel like home in a way). But I also felt this great sense of calmness and relief because I knew I was about to take this huge step in life. I knew I was about to put my strong face on and overcome a bunch of obstacles and then be hugely rewarded.

Today (well, technically yesterday since it's past midnight) I worked again until close. I drove home again in the dark. Driving east on County Road 81, I watched fireworks through my rear-view mirror. Further along there were fireworks coming from every direction. Between Rogers and Maple Grove are a bunch of fields, so it's easy to see the fireworks from far away and all directions. I turned on the classical music station because I knew they'd be playing patriotic music. I blasted (okay maybe not) the music and sang, "You're a grand old flag, you're a high-flying flag..." because it made me feel SO American. Just like last year, I felt a huge sense of relief. Relief that I was back HOME. Relief that I'd already taken that huge step in life and that I have been (and will continue to be) hugely rewarded from it. All those months thinking about home, feeling so far away (because I was) and in such a foreign place (because I was). And here I was, back at home in the United States. I just love America. And it felt like just yesterday I was driving home from work on July 4th last year. Oh man, time really does fly when you're having fun!

There are a few things I've been thinking about at work lately which relate to my time in France. Here's just a thought: I find it absolutely fascinating that I was gone for so long, and when I came back and saw people at work, it was like I was never gone. You know how you talk to certain people in certain ways? Maybe you joke around a certain way with one person or gossip about certain things with another. Well, it's amazing to me that after so much time away, I came back to work and immediately know how to talk to each person. I remember things about people I forgot I remembered. I go right back to my normal way I talk/interact with people. I don't know if this is coming across the way I mean for it to. I don't really know how else to say what I mean. And I know that if I were to go back to Europe and see the people I became friends with while there, I would just know how to talk to each of them. Hm. Just something to think about! (Oh, and how in the world do I remember all the numbers for the fruits and vegetables at the registers after being away for so long?! All those years of cashiering. I don't think I'll ever forget the numbers!)

I know I'm in America when I turn on the radio and hear "Forget you." You know, only America would censor something like that. I can't even sing along with the song in my head becase I automatically hear the "right" version that I heard in France all the time.

I also am reminded of being in America whenever I say "hello" to someone. In Lure, I got in the habit of saying "hello" to kids in the hallways or in passing in town instead of saying "hi." This is because the teachers used "hello," and the kids always said it to me in class. Every time I said it back to them, I realized I should have said "hi" since it it much more American (whereas hello feels more British to me, but perhaps I'm wrong). And if I'm trying to represent America, I should say things the American way. Anyway, I say "hello" a lot more now, and every time I do, I flash back to the streets of Lure when I would walk by a student and say it. Then I recall regretting it. Then I realize I'm in America, not trying to teach kids English/represent my country, so it doesn't really matter at all. So I don't regret it.

I wanted to make a list of things I love about America in honor of Independence Day. But to be honest, I don't feel like it. All day every day I'm realizing things I love about this country, but now nothing is coming to me. Oh wait. I have one. Zebra cakes! Happy birthday, USA!