Just a cold week in December

This past week, especially the weekend, has been rather eventful, as far as being bored in Lure goes. I taught the same lesson about immigration in the US and the US citizenship test too many times to count. And that wasn't the plan. I planned the lesson once, to teach once, and that was all. Throughout the week, teachers who had not prepared anything for me to do told me I could do whatever I wanted. I'll get to that in a second, but since I hadn't planned anything else, I used the one lesson I had. Over. And over. And over.

I might as well say it to everyone at this point. Before I came to France, I was sent an email from one of the teachers at school with a brief description of what my job would be. She said I would be expected to speak English for 12 hours a week, one hour at a time, and the teachers would plan all the lessons for me. After I arrived, I checked with her again to make sure I understood correctly... That teachers will plan all the lessons for me?! Yes! She said they will, and that they have to, and that if any of them tell me to plan lessons, I should let her know because they're not allowed to do that. (They are supposedly allowed to ASK if I'd like to plan lessons, but they can't just tell me to do it.) So I don't really have this in writing. The job contract I signed is pretty much just a piece of paper saying I'm employed at this school, with little detail given to the specifics of my actual job. So anyway, I was thrilled that I may not have to plan a single lesson. I understand, however, that I'll get out of this however much I put in. But to be completely honest, I really hate planning lessons, especially when I know the teacher will be sitting there watching me teach it (as is the case with some of the teachers here). I know this is a bad feeling to have because if I want to be a teacher in the future, I should really get over it and start enjoying the planning process. But the fact is, right now I don't enjoy it, and it makes me stress out a few nights a week, which in turn cause me to be REALLY tired when I teach the lesson because I was up late planning the night before. ANYWAY... The point is, some of the teachers here are giving me lessons to teach. Others tell me the day of that I can do whatever I want. Okay sorry, but that's not enough notice!! I spent hours and hours planning lessons last fall semester. It's hard to plan one on the spot. And since I only see each group of kids 8 or so times throughout the course of the year, I want to make sure they're GOOD lessons, not just quick ones I do on the spot to get by. Or sometimes they ask if I have something ready, right before class. No, I don't, because you didn't tell me to, and I was told you'd have something for me. It's so hard to know what to do because, like I said, I see so many students over a two week period, I can't keep them straight, and it's hard to remember which classes are more advanced than others. So this is why I used the same lesson over and over and over (which I might end up doing anyway, who knows?). I planned it for one teacher, and the others didn't have anything for me to do. The moral of this story, however, is that I'm feeling like I can't straight up say no to these teachers. How awful would that look if I told them I don't want to plan lessons? But the fact is that I was told I won't be doing any of that. And if I don't have to, I don't want to. With that said, I do have some cool ideas and will need to sit down (maybe today?) and plan some really awesome days.

Friday night, Katilin, Corinne and I went to this... thing. I still don't even know what it was. The assistants in Lure were invited. We showed up, and it was in this small room, maybe the size of a classroom. There was art all over the wall, all part of one project from one artist, who was also at the event. It was really awesome and intriguing, actually. When we walked in, I got the impression that Kaitlin and Corinne knew a lot of the people there, but I don't think they really did. They did know some people though, from work. They both work in the primary schools, and some of their students were there. (Which kind of made me jealous. I feel like they are service their young students and like I am dis-servicing mine... They stare blankly at me like I'm ruining their lives.) After a while this "event" started. There were about 20-30 people in the room, and we were all standing around in a big circle. This woman began speaking by introducing us (the 3 assistants who were there... the other 2 were out of town) to everyone else. A little girl read us a welcome message, and they gave us packets of information about Lure. Then the woman kept talking, and I still wasn't completely understanding her. For the most part, I understood, but it was so fast and I didn't get everything. Then she looked at me as if I were supposed to say something. To be honest I didn't know what she had just said, so I was not sure I was supposed to say anything at all, let alone WHAT I was supposed to say. But I crossed my fingers in my mind and just introduced myself, telling evryone where I work and where I am from. I wasn't too enthusiastic about it though, because had I been wrong in what she wanted me to do, I would have looked pretty dumb. But after I finished (and I wasn't sure if I'd covered whatever it was she wanted me to say), Kaitlin and Corinne went, and they said pretty much what I'd said, so I knew I was right. Phew! However, I wish I'd realized what I was actually supposed to be doing, because I wouldn't have looked so confused and maybe would have sounded more like I knew what I was talking about.

After our little introductions, we were set free to eat some snacks and drinks and mingle with people. Great. My favorite thing. If you know me, you know it really isn't my favorite thing (unless of course I know the people). So basically I had nothing to say to anyone, perhpas because all I think about is myself and I was just going through stuff in my head about what I had to do this weekend and the like. But for the most part I was an active listener. It's just weird when I don't have anything to say in the first place... That calls for awkwardness in any case. Then having the "awkwardness" be in French is even more awkward. Okay, it really wasn't awkward, because there was no silence or anything. When I'm having a conversation one-on-one to a French person, I understand everything (well, most of it) they say because they cannot continue unless I understand. That is, they must speak to my level of French. But when I was with the other two, who perhaps understand and can express themselves a bit more easily than I can (although I think I can, too, I just have to think harder), the other person speaks a bit faster, thinking, "If this person can understand and follow, I must not need to slow down." You know how on a team, you're only as strong or as fast as your weakest or slowest player? Not here. I felt like we were only as slow as the fastet player, and the slowest got left behind. It especially feels like that when the person you're talking to stops looking at you, and only to those who can keep up. It's all part of learning the language, I guess. I understand that. And it's good for me to talk with as many people as I can! But frankly, having other English speakers around inhibits me. I do perfectly fine when I'm alone. I enjoy the challenge very much and can come up with words and phrases at my own pace! But that night I was a bit lost, partly because I really didn't understand what this event even was!

Yesterday I got my first French haircut. For the past year, every haircut I've gotten has been in preparation for this one. I've been so nervous for it because it took me forever to find someone in the US who could do it right, and then it took forever for her to perfect the cut. Then I come to France and put all my trust into a complete stranger. It was not that bad actually, but when she was cutting I just kept thinking she was doing it all wrong! She just made it look so easy. I feel a little bit like my 2nd and 3rd grade school pictures. It's a tad too short in the front. Just not exactly how it is at home, but it will do. It's not worth stressing over because before I know it I'll be back in Maple Grove and can have it back to normal. I did some shopping and walking around town after my haircut, and I finally got food from this Asian restaurant I walk by all the time and have always wanted to try. I brought it back to my place and had a great dinner. It really hit the spot for me. I haven't had real good food in a while.

I have quite a lot of stuff coming up. This weekend I'll finally be going to a Christmas market in France. It's about time I get out of here and breathe for a while! Next weekend I'm going home to Manheim, Germany with Mario. I'm excited for that! Then the week after that my friend Sal is coming to visit from the US, and we'll be going places!

Time really is flying by. I'm excited to be back in the convenience of home next summer, but at the same time, I know that once I'm there, I won't be coming back here. So I'm just trying to enjoy every moment here that I can.